Lost Forever Words

Almost 15 years go, I tried my hand at writing children\’s books. I wrote a very short story/poem about a child enjoying the rain. I loved it. No one else loved, but it didn\’t matter. I loved it. It was simple, short, and fun. I also wrote a longer children\’s story about a stuffed bunny from my childhood, but it was too much like Velveteen rabbit. I was thinking about these stories and wondering if I still had printed copies. This started me thinking about all of the short stories I\’ve written over the years and all the lost forever words.

 When I write a story, I feel it. The words begin to flow in an order I cannot predict and cannot control. If I try to control the words, the words stop coming. When I try to predict the direction of the story, I end up 20 miles from where I thought I was going. I think if I tried to write the same story twice, I would have two completely different stories.

This brings me to all the stories I\’ve written over the years and lost. I printed them and put them somewhere for safe keeping. Where they are now, I couldn\’t tell you. I remember some of them. The girl murdered in her apartment on the night of her girlfriend\’s proposal. The boy who couldn\’t handle life and killed himself over the crowd of people watching his favorite band. The pregnant girl fighting to get away from her abusive mother and promises of breaking the cycle. The girl happy to confide in her plant rather than her boyfriend.

Wow. So much sadness and hurt in all of those stories. This doesn\’t even touch on the many poems about security, trust, and abandonment. There was also a story about a couple that loved one another so much they refused to be apart, literally. They died holding one another. A tree formed around and created an outline of their bodies. I liked that one.

Where are these stories? They are out there somewhere or are they under my bed? I have a bin under the bed with various stuff from years gone by. I suppose it\’s possible the stories have been patiently awaiting their turn in sun.

Hmmmm… be right back!

Nothing… I Got Nothing!!

When I made the decision to start NaNoWriMo this year, I knew I wanted to continue my story from the 2010 NaNo I wrote. I knew my characters had more to do, to say, to share. As I started sorting out ideas for the next book, I realized I would be writing backwards. My second book would actually take place before my first book. Now I am 12 days from the start of November, and I think this is actually the next book after all… huh?

I would still like to write about the characters I chose earlier this month. They deserve more story for sure. I\’d thought I would write a book about them, and this book would precede \”Bleak.\” The more I think about it, the more I think this book would come after \”Bleak.\”. I was going to go into how this couple met, their lives together and how they work together to make a truly symbiotic relationship. In order to do this, I\’d start with them young, but they\’d have to grow older over the course of the book which makes the book fall outside a YA category.

Now I think this year\’s book will be the second novel in the series with a focus on these two instead of the two I focused on in \”Bleak\”. The second issue is their names. Now that I will be giving them more attention, I\’m not sure I like the names.. hers anyway. I still like his. What to do.. to the name generator! I\’ll figure it out I\’m sure.

I\’ve no idea what this book will be about. I\’ve no idea what\’s going to happen out there. I knew with \”Bleak\”.. well mostly. I knew key scenes I wanted in the book, but most of the other scenes created themselves. To say I\’m freaking out at this point does not begin to express my level of anxiety. I\’m trying to focus on what to write, what to do, get some magical idea …. I got nothing. NOTHING!!

It\’s OK.. I\’m not really stressing. I\’m a procrastinator and a pantster. The ideas will come when actualy am stressed out. I can hardly wait!!

Getting in the Mood (rawr) …

When I\’m writing, really writing, I feel more like … me. Writing, for me, is a release of thoughts running randomly through my head at various times of the day. Writing allows me to make sense of nonsense. Putting words on paper taps into something inside me that nothing else reaches. I feel more alive, more awake, more in love with the world, more connected…. I feel more.

I haven\’t written anything notable for years. I wrote Bleak back in 2010 and set it aside to simmer a bit. I never came back to it. I believe I did a little manual editing on the printed pages, but no restructuring. For whatever reason, I remembered NaNoWriMo sometime in September which meant I had plenty of time to get my butt in the chair and figure out what to write this year.

At first I was going through the motions and sorta talking myself into writing. I looked up my old writer friends on twitter (@khrys_norman), updated my writer FB page (Khrys Norman), and revamped my blog here (I like the new look). As I began to put things back in order, I really started to feel better mentally. I cleaned the room in which I intend to write and found a few goodies to keep around for writing inspiration. I added new friends on Twitter and found current authors. I\’ve pledged to read more and my brain is shifting in the right direction.

I watched a live pod cast hosted by NaNoWriMo which included many of my own questions about writing. Answers were given by well known authors: Kami Garcia, Danielle Paige, Ellen Hopkins, and Jonathan Maberry. If you don\’t know their names, you\’ve probably seen their work (or read it!). I was googly-eyed and giddy through the whole thing. These writers took the time to answer our questions… how wonderful!! After watching the recording and taking notes, I realized just how much I adore writing and the writing community. These people speak my language! I want to talk with them all day long.

I am no longer talking myself into writing this next book.. I\’m committed. I want to write this book … I need to write this book. The ideas are coming now. The characters are talking to me through the day.. nothing too pushy.. just a nudge here and there. I\’m excited. I\’ve missed them.

Chaos Managed..

This year I am using Scrivener to write my NaNoWriMo novel. I downloaded the free trial, but I think I am already convinced. Typically, I jump right into something new and figure it out along the way. Scrivener begged me not to do that, so I read the entire tutorial on the use of the program. I\’m glad I did!

Why did I download this program? NaNoWriMo is just a couple weeks away, and I am not ready. I\’ve a very vague idea for this book, but it\’s currently one sided. There\’s no \”bad guy\” or plot twist to keep it interesting. Perhaps that will come later when my inner editor forgets to show up for the day. In an attempt to gather what little thoughts about this book I currently have, I downloaded the free trial of Scrivener. The trial lasts for 30 non-consecutive days… meaning it last for 30 days of use. So if you only use it every other day, then you\’ll have access for more than a month. At the end of the trial, you have the option to buy. The program is not as expensive as I was imagining – $40 bucks for Windows. NaNoWriMo gives you a discount as well.

When I opened the tutorial, I was disappointed to see no video training. Wait.. you mean I actually have to read this? I turned off the TV, found my reading glasses, and focused. So. Much. Information. This tutorial took me two days to get through at about 2 hours per day. Granted I did watch a Bourne movie during one sitting. I suppose that could have distracted me a little.

The best features are the ability to split the screen to view different sections of the novel at once, to search through the entire novel for key words, and to see them all at once in a side bar. I\’m starting with the \”fiction\” template and will build on it to make it perfect for my style. Once I do that, I can save the template for future novels. I skimmed through areas like exporting and importing. I won\’t need these until much later in the game.

Literature and Latte - Scrivener
Literature and Latte – Scrivener

I also like the idea of keeping my files in the program. I download pictures, quotes, ideas, etc… that remind me of my characters. I can keep all of these files within the program and see them instantly. I guess the organization is what I like. I won\’t feel so scattered. I\’m typically a \”pantser\” for NaNoWriMo, but I can see the value in a bit of organization.

The initial use of this program may be awkward for me, but the work I\’m doing now will make future novels that much easier. It\’s like any new thing. The first few uses are weird and questionable, but once you figure out how to make it yours… it\’s a breeze!

Well, Scrivener awaits.. 

Oh wait! Here\’s a link to a well written explanation of the Ten Reasons Scrivener Rocks by Tara Walker. You can find her on Twitter (@imaginepageant). There are many blog posts about this program and why it\’s awesome ..

Feeling all the Feels…

I\’ve been thinking a lot about my characters. Where do I want to begin this story? How will they meet? How much do I put into this story? All of these questions lead me to more questions and while I realize these questions only make sense to me here\’s what they sound like in my head:


How many times will I bring them through the cycle? Is the cycle perfect and never ending? Is it slightly flawed to give a far off reminder of mortality? What\’s the flaw? An Illness? Wait, what if she has an illness during one of the cycles? What if he has to wait for her? OMG! Why am I crying hysterically in the hallway?

The crying really happened which means I must be on to something. Go with it. It hurts my heart and I feel nauseous. It must be right. It must the story they want told. I\’m getting closer to them, my characters. Let\’s let this simmer a moment. I need to clear my eyes.

NaNoPrep .. yes. Let\’s discuss NaNoPrep. Whew.

I\’ve been prepping a little for my story but I\’m also prepping for the time between my story. I\’m prepping for the moments when I break down mid chapter and cry (it happens, often). I\’m prepping for the moments I\’m typing along and BAM.. I got nothin\’. So here\’s my list so far:

New notebooks for plots and ideas
Pens
Scented candles
Gum, lots of gum
Plant
Slippers
Comfie t-shirt/sweater
Earplugs
Music list
Coloring books
Colored pencils

This is it so far. I think that\’s a good start. I\’m also trying to decide if I want to use a structured outline system like Scrivner or Ywriter. I need to decide soon so I can use it for prepping. Decisions. So many decisions.

Welp, back to the hard part … the feels!!

Cover Me Happy!

It\’s NaNoPrep month, so I\’m working on what I need to get this novel out in November. Tonight, I created the book cover. I used a lotus flower, wings, and some energy stuff. That\’s the technical explanation. I used to use Microsoft Image Composer for all of my picture creations, but this time I used PicMonkey. No downloading needed and it\’s very easy to use.

The title of this year\’s NaNoWrimo is \”Symbiosis\” .. or at least it is right now. I chose the title based on my character\’s relationship with one another. The title is likely to change as this story unfolds. As I was creating this cover and thinking about my characters, I realized I do not have a villain/antagonist. I\’m excited to discover who or what this villain will be. My chosen characters have an entire story to tell and I know very little about it. They\’ll be telling me as I\’m telling you.

Beginning tomorrow morning, I am planning to get up early to type more of \”Bleak.\” I suppose I should get off to bed if I\’m going to be successful with this plan.

Goodnight and happy NaNoPrepping!