Writer in Progress

My plans for November’s NaNoWriMo fell through quickly. I had planned to continue my draft for “Symbiosis” which already had about 21.5k words from the 2015 NaNo. I had started to pull my ideas together in October but choosing a starting (or restarting) point was far harder than expected. On a whim, I deleted my 21k Scrivener project to force myself to start over from the beginning. I knew there was a backup somewhere if I really needed the older version, but the new version gained traction. I left the old version in the dust. November started and so did I. I attended several virtual write-ins, learned how to use Discord (sort of), and met many new writers. Then, 7600 words into the new draft, I quit writing. So, what happened?

A fellow writer asked me this question during a James River Writers virtual get together in which mostly local writers are grouped into breakout rooms to talk writing, drafts, struggles, etc… I remember telling him my reason for quitting was related to the story itself. The story was taking a turn I had not expected and wasn’t sure I wanted to continue. He nodded but suggested I keep writing. See where it goes. Just keep going. By this time, NaNo had slipped away from me – no finished draft this year.

But wait a minute. Does that really matter? I mean, am I going to wait until next November to keep this story moving? What has kept me from writing in December? What are my plans for January? I keep beating myself up over and over about quitting NaNo this year and about not writing since then either. Am I doing this or not? Do I want to write or don’t I? What am I even doing? I am putting pressure on myself to do something I love to do which makes it something I do not enjoy. Why the pressure? There is no timeline. There is no due date. There is no word count. There are no check-ins. I am the only making me feel this way which means I am the only one that can stop this madness.

Here are some of the kinder things I tell myself when I know I am digging a hole of writer doubt.

1. Write where it feels good. You can change your mind about “the” spot to right. Write wherever, just write. Feel out the spots in the house, and once it is safe, try writing away from the house. You will find what works for you, but not if you quit writing.
2. Find writers in your area and get connected to them. No one knows more about how you are feeling than another writer. Sometimes it is helpful to hear another writer tell you they’ve been exactly where you are, and other times it’s helpful to assure someone else the feelings are normal. Search for hashtags like #WritingCommunity and #AmWriting on social media.
3. Staring off into space is normal. Others may think you’re not focused but trying to decide if your MC likes applesauce or apple pie better is part of the writing craft. Researching the availability of applesauce and apple pie in your MC’s world is part of the writing craft. Time spent thinking about your story and researching your story counts as time spent writing.
4. Mistakes are part of the process. Follow the story. Go down the rabbit hole. I recently heard Margaret Atwood say something like … no one is going to see this story until you are ready to let them. You can change whatever you want to change. The waste basket is a writer’s best friend.
5. Write often. Now this one goes both ways. If I am writing often, then I feel good about my writing whether the writing advanced my story or not. If I do not write often, then I start the cycle of self-pity. But what if I change “write often” to “write something.” Just write something. Open your notebook, laptop, phone, recorder, etc…. and write something.
6. Make a plan to write. This can get tricky, too. Do not set a goal to get up early and write every morning at 6am if you are a night person. Do not set goals to write after work if you know you need to tend to family or self after work. Think about your schedule. Think about when you really can make time to write. There’s always time in the day.

My writing today is this blog post, and I feel better just getting this out of my head. I am working on my writing plan. I will always be a writer in progress.